Interpersonal conflict is inevitable as the work world continues to generate uncertainty and changing environments trigger emergencies.
What often goes unnoticed is how seemingly minor behaviours, such as rudeness, sarcasm, or dismissive gestures, can act as lightning rods for escalation. A rolled eye, a snide remark, or a passive-aggressive email may appear trivial but can trigger emotional reactions that spiral into full-blown conflict.
Rudeness is rarely isolated. It often signals deeper frustrations, unresolved tensions, or miscommunication. When left unchecked, it can evolve into bullying, harassment, and workplace violence.
The fuzzy line of rudeness is a challenge to define because what is perceived as rudeness is subject to the person experiencing it. Two people may have the same experience and feel completely different about its intent.
Misunderstandings and unresolved conflicts are equally challenging in the workplace when left to fester and are not resolved. Feeling slighted can attach unpleasant emotions and perceptions that can influence people’s thinking, reactions, and behaviours.
When an employee feels unheard or disrespected, their sense of psychological safety becomes challenged and, if not addressed, can define their workplace as unsafe, unfair, and a threat.
The cost of doing nothing
Ignoring interpersonal conflict is not a neutral act. It is a decision that often comes with human-related consequences. The costs of inaction may not always be obvious and can be multifaceted, such as:
Lost employee time: When conflict simmers, employees spend hours ruminating, venting to colleagues, or avoiding interactions. Productivity drops, collaboration suffers, and team cohesion weakens.
Psychological injury: Prolonged exposure to unresolved conflict can lead to emotional exhaustion, anxiety, and depression. When bullying or harassment enters the picture, the damage intensifies, potentially resulting in long-term psychological harm.
Increased absenteeism and turnover: Employees who feel unsafe or unsupported are more likely to disengage, call in sick, or leave the organization altogether. This leads to increased recruitment costs and a loss of institutional knowledge. It can also result in increased disability costs.
Legal and reputational risk: Organizations that fail to address conflict may face human rights complaints, lawsuits, or public scrutiny. The reputational damage can be lasting and costly.
A story we must not forget: the Pierre Lebrun OC Transpo shooting
The story of former OC Transpo worker Pierre Lebrun is a tragic reminder of what can happen when teasing and incivility are allowed to fester. Pierre was subjected to ongoing jokes and ridicule because of a speech impediment that others dismissed as harmless fun. But for Pierre, the teasing chipped away at his sense of belonging and dignity. Over time, the emotional toll became unbearable. His story ended in tragedy, a loss that shook his workplace and community.
Pierre’s experience teaches us that teasing is not to be taken lightly. It can be a precursor to trauma and psychological injury. We must never forget the lessons his story offers: early intervention matters, silence can be dangerous, and every employee has a role in creating a respectful workplace.
Why early intervention works
Getting to conflict early is not about being confrontational; it is about being courageous. When we address concerns quickly, we:
- Prevent escalation before emotions intensify.
- Clarify misunderstandings before they become entrenched.
- Demonstrate care and accountability, reinforcing a culture of respect.
- Protect psychological safety, which is essential for trust, innovation, and performance.
Early intervention sends a clear message that disrespect is not tolerated and every voice is valued and matters.
Four-step model for de-escalation without harm
Crisis-Ready Interventionists® are trained to defuse conflict with empathy and structure. Here’s a practical model anyone can use:
Observe and assess: Pay attention to the emotional climate. Is someone visibly upset, withdrawn, or agitated? Are there signs of tension between colleagues? Before engaging, determine whether it’s safe to intervene. If the situation feels volatile, seek support from a supervisor or security.
Connect and validate: Approach the individuals in a calm and respectful manner. Use non-threatening language and body posture. Acknowledge emotions without judgment:
“Hey, I noticed some tension earlier—are you okay?”
Validation doesn’t mean agreement; it means recognizing someone’s experience.
Redirect and refocus: Guide the conversation towards resolution. Ask open-ended questions to understand the root of the issue:
“What do you need right now?”
“What would help move this forward?”
Focus on shared goals, not personal grievances. Encourage collaboration, not confrontation.
Close the loop: De-escalation isn’t complete until the concern is addressed. If safety is at risk, report it immediately through the appropriate channels. Document the incident and follow up to ensure support is provided. Encourage those involved to access resources such as HR, EAP, or peer support.
Safety first always
While de-escalation is a powerful tool, it must never come at the cost of personal safety. If a situation feels threatening, remove yourself and seek help. Crisis-Ready Interventionists® are trained to recognize when to step in and when to step back. The goal is not to fix everything alone but to activate the proper support at the right time.
Interpersonal conflict is not just a human resources issue. When allowed to fester, it can move from acts of incivility to bullying or worse. Rudeness, teasing, and unresolved tension can escalate quickly, causing emotional harm and organizational disruption. However, with awareness, courage, and the right tools, Crisis-Ready Interventionists® can intervene early, defuse tension, and protect their colleagues.
Every employee has a role to play. And for Crisis-Ready Interventionists®, that role is clear: be the anchor of calm, the catalyst for action, and the voice that says, “This matters. Let’s deal with it before it’s too late.” Role model understanding behaviour to create a psychologically safe workplace.
