Finding jobs isn’t easy, and this became even more of a challenge during the pandemic, when losing jobs was the norm. When times are hard, well-meaning family members tend to step in and deprive their kids of the opportunity to try, fail, and learn. Many parents live in a state of perpetual alarm, unable to grasp or admit that there may be malice in wonderland. Quoting the series Cosmos: Possible Worlds: “To be alive is to be in some measure of jeopardy.”
Instead of facing interview panels and enduring the stress of having to think on their feet, job seekers try their hand at self-employment.
In 2021, a friend who hovers in the twilight zone between government and marketplace had an interesting experience. He had set up an introductory meeting with a young (27-year-old) person who was planning to start a business and use a government grant to build a business plan and boost his finances. My friend was part of the team that ran the grant program for the government.
The purpose of this first in-person meeting was to get to know the applicant, find out what the business entailed, probe the applicant’s motivation, and map out a plan. To my friend’s surprise, the applicant brought his mom to the interview, and she answered questions that my friend directed to him. At the end, the mother said, “And I just want you to know I am not another helicopter parent.”
According to various news reports and anecdotal evidence in barbecue and running circles, students are having a hard time finding summer jobs. Indeed, youth unemployment is a big issue across the country. Naturally, some parents decide to intercede and hold their kids’ hands through the process. A few years ago, I saw an ad from a local business that was looking for summer students. Apparently they had experience, as the last line read: “No calls from parents!”
In one interview process, I was recruiting for a co-op position in HR. Several candidates were awesome — flawlessly written resumés, sprinkled with scholarships, honour rolls, awards, and volunteer work. Toward the end of an interview, I always ask people if they have any questions, for instance about the company or the process. Response from one job seeker: “Yes, my dad said I should ask where I would be in the pay range.”
While looking for jobs can be stressful, losing jobs is a few steps up that ladder. I’ve relayed many termination decisions, and most employees were unhappy to reach the end of the road. However, I also had a few meetings where people were genuinely pleased (or perhaps relieved) with the decision, especially upon hearing of a generous termination package. In one such meeting, the employee was giddy with the prospect of having a paid summer off and pretty much danced out the door before I could ask for their access card.
On almost every resume I see, candidates boast of excellent decision-making skills, the ability to work independently, having awesome communication skills, being used to dealing with high-stress situations, and problem-solving as second nature. However, all these skills seem to fail them instantly when things turn sour. Remarkably, this even happens at executive level, where I’ve seen usually flamboyant, self-confident James Bond types reduced to groaning wrecks when facing headwinds.
Some three years ago, I was part of a termination process where a vice-president was going to be guided out the door. Apparently, they had some kind of premonition of their unfortunate but inevitable demise, as the IT department flagged the VP logging in to the company database during evening hours and downloading and printing sensitive files in the week leading up to T-Day.
On the morning when they had been asked to come to the CEO’s office, the VP brought their father, who made a serious attempt to join the meeting when the CEO opened the door. The CEO stood her ground though, pointing out to the VP that “Your dad wasn’t there when we interviewed you, and it was you who signed the agreement,” and then, turning to the father: “You can wait in the office next door, or in the reception area.”
The dad’s presence actually proved useful in the aftermath, when we carried three boxes with framed certificates, personalized staplers, atrophied plants, and monogrammed golf balls to the parking lot.
I also experienced a situation where an applicant didn’t make it through the process, only to have a parent call the CEO to complain and appeal the decision. In such situations, it is crucial for the HR department’s credibility that the CEO defer to the process, rather than attempting to look good by throwing HR under the bus. (As Gino Wickman wrote in Traction: “In a nuclear family, when the child doesn’t like the answer from Mom, he or she might go to Dad. In your company, there can be only one answer.”)
Parental interference doesn’t help job seekers, especially not when they claim to be the perfect fit for a role that requires – as postings invariably state – out-of-the-box thinking, strategic thought leadership, and the ability to articulate the vision.
