When harmful behaviour appears in a workplace — whether bullying, disrespect or emerging patterns that create risk — managers need to intervene immediately. Carmen Bellows, Director of Mental Health at Sun Life, says early action prevents psychological harm and helps maintain a safe environment.
“Whenever we’re seeing those kind of negative or even potentially problematic behaviors creeping up, they need to be addressed immediately,” said Bellows, Director of Mental Health at Sun Life.
Managers facing concerning behavior should consider: How common is the behavior? Is it affecting others? Is there a significant change?
The goal is to respond in the moment to stop problematic behaviors from spreading. Managers should start with curiosity and discussion, but they need to put an end to inappropriate behavior so everyone sees that problems will be immediately addressed.
Preparing for difficult conversations
Managers need to prepare thoroughly. Preparation might include connecting with HR or doing a role play.
Managers should choose a private and neutral location and start with a clear statement of purpose. They need to use specific examples rather than vague statements.
“We don’t want to say vague things like you have a really bad attitude. We want to be really specific and identify those problematic behaviors,” Bellows said.
She offered an example: “I noticed that you’re leaving early Fridays. The past three Fridays you’ve left at two o’clock. Mondays you’re calling in sick. I’m really concerned.”
The focus should be on behaviors, not the person. Managers should externalize the issue by discussing the problematic language or actions rather than attacking character.
Active and empathic listening is critical. Managers should listen to gain understanding, not to formulate a response.
“As a manager, when we’re going into those difficult conversations, oftentimes we’re thinking through what they’re going to respond with and coming up with an answer before listening. And we really need to slow down,” Bellows said.
A framework for difficult conversations
Regular check-ins with staff set the tone for being able to have difficult conversations. When managers maintain ongoing communication, these conversations become less overwhelming, said Bellows.
Managers should clearly state they’re going to have a conversation about unacceptable behaviors and define exactly what those behaviors are. Managers also need to explain the impact of harmful behaviors on the team.
Managers should outline consequences if the behavior continues. However, the most important element is providing resources for improvement.
“We don’t just want to naturally assume that the individual knows how to change this,” Bellows said.
When employees attribute behavior to mental health
How should managers respond when an employee attributes their behavior to their mental health condition?
“You can have whatever is going on for you, but that doesn’t excuse inappropriate behavior,” Bellows said.
The only exception is rare cases where someone may have a Tourette’s-type syndrome. Outside of that, managers need to recognize that poor behavior is often not a symptom of mental illness but may be a symptom of poor coping.
“When we’re acting in a disrespectful manner, the reality is we can change those things and we need to have control over them,” Bellows explained. “Or we can’t be in a workplace because our condition can’t be making other people ill.”
Support from professionals like an executive coach, psychologist or physician can all be part of addressing behavioral issues. Managers need to stay focused on ensuring employees get connected with the right professionals rather than providing care themselves, she said.
Common mistakes managers make
When trying to hold someone accountable while being supportive of their mental health, managers often fall into the trap of trying to be a friend or therapist.
“Oftentimes, people will problematically disclose, well, this is what happened to me. And we don’t need to be sharing our personal experiences,” Bellows said.
The job is to be a leader and a manager, not a therapist. Managers should not ask about medical information.
Progressive discipline and mental health
Does progressive discipline look different when dealing with someone who has a mental health issue?
“No, because what we want to do is be focusing on the behaviors,” Bellows said. “And rarely are the behaviors not controllable.”
Rather than vague directives, managers need specific expectations: “We expect you to speak with respect: showing up on time, looking people in the eye, avoiding profanity, using respectful language.”
When employees break down
If an employee starts to break down during a difficult conversation, managers should adjust their approach.
“The very first thing we’re going to do is recognize and acknowledge, ‘Look, I can see that this is a hard conversation for you. I’m going to go get you a glass of water. I’m going to give you a minute to collect yourself.’”
When returning, managers should check in about whether to continue now or reschedule. The key is not leaving it unsettled, she said.
Rebuilding psychological safety after discipline
If a manager has had to take action against an employee, how can they rebuild psychological safety?
Bellows called out an important distinction: “We wouldn’t discipline or terminate someone because they have a mental illness. We would discipline or terminate them because they weren’t able to change their behaviors.”
Organizations need to regularly reinforce company values and expectations. Ongoing training around conflict resolution becomes vital. Regular check-ins and discussion about psychological health and safety need to be baked into the organizational framework, she said.
Certain behaviors warrant zero tolerance, including physical aggression and sexually inappropriate behaviors.
“The roots of that poor behavior whether it’s in a mental illness or in poor coping, that is irrelevant,” Bellows said. “What we need to do is manage those behaviors and ensure that individual has the supports to get proper treatment outside of the workplace.”
Managers should also celebrate instances when team members support each other and create opportunities for team building.
“Fostering that really good culture is going to reduce the nature of those difficult conversations,” Bellows said.
