Leaders are increasingly facing situations that don’t fit neatly into a performance box. Behaviour shifts. Emotional volatility. Missed steps. Vague statements that raise concern but don’t quite cross a clear line.
Many leaders hesitate in these moments. They don’t want to overreact, diagnose or escalate unnecessarily. At the same time, they worry about missing something important and putting employees or the organization at risk.
When leaders treat a potential crisis signal as a routine performance issue, they may push too hard. When they treat a performance issue like a crisis, they may escalate too quickly. Both missteps create risk.
This article offers a practical coaching approach to help leaders pause, assess and respond proportionately, while knowing when to move beyond coaching and involve supports.
Scenario
A previously steady employee begins missing key details and appears unusually agitated during check-ins. They make comments like, “I can’t keep doing this,” or “None of this really matters anymore,” then brush it off as stress. The leader feels uneasy. The behaviour is new and out of character. Performance is slipping, but something else seems to be going on. The leader isn’t sure whether to manage it as performance, explore it as stress or escalate it as a potential crisis signal. This uncertainty is where leaders need a clear framework.
Considerations before the conversation
These situations require leaders to slow down and think clearly before acting.
1. Avoid false certainty. Leaders don’t need to diagnose, but they do need to notice.
Ask yourself:
- What has changed?
- Is the behaviour persistent, intensifying or escalating?
- Is this outside the person’s normal pattern?
Uncertainty is a signal to gather more information, not to freeze.
2. Focus on observable signs. Stay grounded in what you can see and hear:
- Changes in behaviour or mood
- Decline in reliability or attention
- Expressions of hopelessness or overwhelm
- Emotional reactivity that affects work
Avoid interpreting meaning or intent.
3. Distinguish stress from risk. Not all distress signals indicate a crisis, but some require immediate attention.
Reflect on:
- Is there any indication of safety risk?
- Is functioning significantly impaired?
- Does the person seem able to regulate themselves at work?
Risk assessment is about capacity and safety, not labels.
4. Know your role and limits. Leaders are not clinicians.
Your role is to:
- Address work impact
- Check on immediate safety and capacity
- Activate support when needed
- Escalate appropriately
Clarity protects both the leader and employee.
5. Prepare for two possible paths. Go into the conversation ready for:
- A coaching conversation focused on support and performance
- A pivot toward support and escalation if the risk becomes clearer
Flexibility is key.
Coaching in action: Assessing risk while staying grounded
1. Open with care and observation. Set a steady tone: “I’ve noticed some changes lately, and wanted to check in. My goal is to understand how you’re doing and how it’s affecting work.”
This invites openness without alarm.
2. Name what you’re seeing. Be specific and neutral: “I’ve noticed missed steps, more agitation in meetings and comments about feeling overwhelmed.”
Stick to facts.
3. Ask capacity-focused questions. Use coaching questions that assess functioning:
- “How are you managing your workload right now?”
- “Do you feel able to focus and get through your day?”
- “What’s feeling hardest at the moment?”
Listen carefully — not just to words, but also to coherence and regulation.
4. Check safety directly, if needed. If signals warrant it, be clear and calm: “When you say you can’t keep doing this, I want to check — are you feeling safe right now?”
Asking does not create risk. Avoiding it can.
5. Respond proportionately. Based on what you hear:
- If capacity is strained but intact, create support and performance adjustments
- If risk or impairment is evident, shift toward support and escalation
This is not failure; it’s responsible leadership.
6. Activate supports and escalation. When escalation is needed:
- Be transparent about next steps
- Involve HR, EAP or other supports as appropriate
- Stay present and respectful
Clarity reduces fear and confusion.
7. Document and follow up. Regardless of the path:
- Document observable facts and steps taken
- Follow up consistently
- Reassess as needed
Patterns matter. Leaders don’t need to have all the answers in complex moments, but they do need the courage to pause, assess and act thoughtfully. Knowing when to coach, when to support and when to escalate is a critical leadership skill in today’s workplace. When leaders approach these moments with clarity, compassion and appropriate boundaries, they reduce risk while reinforcing trust and psychological safety. These conversations aren’t about getting it perfect. They’re about getting it right.
